I am NOT gay
by crazy-for-Jasper
Summary: The Cullen's and Jacob move to England. What happens? Is Edward gay? Humorous - hopefully . Review!


**Hey everyone! This is my first fanfiction! I hope you like it! Please review!**

**I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.**

**Chapter 1**

Many kids stared at us, as we walked down the corridor. We moved to England at the start of the holidays and no one has been looking forward to this moment. We are all going to miss Forks, especially Jacob because his Dad and 'brothers' are there. But obviously we couldn't have stayed there because people would get too suspicious.

I could tell Edward didn't like the students' thoughts at all. His grip on my hand stiffened. Shouldn't he be used to it by now? I thought. Walking down the corridor, I noticed that this school was one of those really fancy private schools. There aren't many of these schools in America. England is defiantly a lot different.

I could see Emmett didn't like the school either. "Ugh, I hate this stupid school. Why did we have to go to a private one?" he asked, staring at all the private-ness of it.

"Because we are rich, and if we went to a non-private school it would look strange," Alice informed him, with a bright smile.

Jacob decided to join the conversation. "I do agree with Emmett. Why did we have to come to _this_ school? This one is _extra_ private. There are probably annoying snobs all over the place." he said, with a look of disgust on his face.

"Because this place isn't sunny, _dog_," Rosalie spat.

Jacob glared at her. "Whatever, _blondie_," he said. "But, England practically doesn't have _any_ sun, so _why_ did we have to come here?!"

Edward looked at me in the way that meant, 'let's get out of here before they do something stupid.' So I nodded, and we headed for our first class, which was English. Entering the classroom, I couldn't help but notice all the looks that Edward was getting, and even the jealous ones I received. We sat down, and Edward pulled out his iPod. I looked at him, very confused. He shrugged and gave me an ear-phone.

"What the hell?" I said under my breath. "What are you doing?" He normally didn't listen to music before classes; in fact, did he even _have_ an iPod? I thought he just used his super-large stereo.

"Listening to music," he said, as though it was obvious. Hmm, I guess it kind of was.

"Why—?" I started, but he shoved both ear-phones in my ears. He started playing some really loud trashy rock music, on full blast. "Edward, this music sucks. Why—?"

"I got it yesterday. Isn't it great?" he said. I stared at him like he was an idiot.

"No." What is with him? I took the ear-phones out and shoved them in Edward's hand.

"I think it's great," Edward said, about to put the ear-phones back in my ear. But I stopped him. Hmm, I thought, there's something different about Edward today.

"Are you OK?" I asked him, grabbing his hands to stop him putting them in my ear. "Because you seem a little—" But I got cut off again, when I heard:

"I heard Bella is a lesbian."

What? I looked at Edward, very confused. I frowned.

"Yeah, I heard she only hangs out with that really hot guy because she's too embarrassed about it."

I whipped my around to see two blonde's talking about how much of a lesbian I am. Wait, I am NOT a lesbian! Edward must have known about this. I glared at him. He smiled his annoyingly dazzling smile back. "Why do they think I'm gay?" I whispered.

"I don't know Bella, why do they think you're gay?" Edward said. He was hiding something. The teacher walked into the room and told us about what we're doing in English this year. It was all too boring so I decided to get the answer out of Edward, by placing my hand on his upper thigh. He stiffened a little bit, but ignored me anyway. I brought it a little higher. Edward looked at me—or glared—and put his hand on my thigh. Damn…

I took my hand off him and got a piece of paper out. I wrote: _why am I gay?_

He looked at it and laughed a bit. _Because you apparently like girls better than guys_

_You know what I mean_

_What do you mean?_

This was really getting annoying. _If you don't tell me I will sleep on the couch for a week_

Edward considered this, and wrote: _Emmett was bored and told a few people when we were doing things in the car_

_Why didn't you tell me before?!_

_Love you_

I stared at him angrily. _Why?!_

Edward sighed, and smiled. _Because you are beautiful_

_Edward! Why didn't you tell me before?_

_I have told you many times, actually_

I glared at him. This was getting very frustrating. _ You know what I mean! Why didn't you tell before? And if you answer back stupidly I seriously will sleep on the couch for a week. Maybe even more_

_Fine…Because Emmett was going to tell them that I was gay…_

I didn't answer back because I had a brilliant idea. Edward looked at me pleadingly, but I just smiled evilly back at him. All through class Edward was trying to get me to talk to him but I just pretended I was interested in what the teacher was saying. When the bell went I decided to have a little chat to those blonde's. Edward has chemistry—the only class I have without him. The blonde's saw me walking over to them and their eyes widened in surprise.

"The lesbian's coming over," one of them said.

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Hi, I'm Bella. Now, did any of you know that Edward is gay? You know the one I was with? He's so ashamed of being gay he told someone to tell people that I am a lesbian." The blonde's looked at me curiously. One of them had a top on that said, 'I go for the one's that SNOG!', and she had a very low purple skirt on. The other blonde had two pink streaks in her hair with so much make-up on she looked a little like a clown. It was a little disturbing. But the top _was_ quite funny.

"Is he really?" the clown asked, and then whispered to her friend, "I bet I could turn him straight." In your dreams, I thought.

"Are you serious? You would try and go for someone who is _gay_?" the one that 'SNOGG's' asked with shock. She shrugged. "Well, I doubt _you_ could. Because I would be _so_ much better at it."

"Wanna bet?" Clown asked. "Because I'm sure that _I_ could turn him straight!"

"Fine, in two weeks we'll see who can turn him! But I'm sure I'll win. For sure," the other blond said.

I smiled with satisfaction. I was _so_ not planning this. Edward is going to _kill_ me, thought, when he finds out. I walked outside and headed to the gym, as it was my next subject. Emmett and Rosalie were in this subject too, luckily, because otherwise I would have to handle the annoying hormonal teenage boys on my own. Seeing Emmett and Rosalie, I went over to them and sat down in the bleachers.

"I heard that Edward's gay," Emmett said, with a cheeky grin. I nodded, and he started laughing hysterically.

"These two blonde's are having a bet to see who will turn him straight first," I told him, and he laughed harder. Rosalie just rolled her eyes.

The teacher came after a few minutes of talking and said, "This term we'll be doing sports like basket-ball, tennis, soccer and baseball." He talked more about it and then finally said, "Get in partners and grab a tennis bat and ball. We are starting with baseball." Obviously Rose and Emmett were going together so I was left with…annoying hormonal teenage boys. Didn't they know I was a 'lesbian'?

Which reminded me: "Emmett, why did you tell people I was a lesbian?" I hissed under my breath. He chose to ignore me, so I went over to a guy who has been staring at me for the last five minutes. He had blue hair and blue eyes, and he had a brown t-shit on. He was kind of cute…I guess. Nothing compared to Edward, though.

As I approached him, I said, "Wanna be my part—"

"Will you go out with me?" he blurted out. He smiled at me and winked, not looking nervous about asking a total stranger at all.

I raised my eyebrows. "What?" I asked.

"Do you want to go—"

"No, I don't, actually." I said. This guy is kind of creepy. "I'll forget you said that if you'll be my partner." I flicked my hair—as I've seen Rosalie do—and smiled at him.

"Fine. I'm Liam, and you are…?" Liam asked, with a wink. God, I think I'll get Edward to have a talk to him later.

"Bella." But Isabella to you, I thought. This guy was really annoying me, so I went to go get the equipment, not bothering to tell him. Although, I could hear him talking some other guy saying that he will 'get with me'. Now both Edward and I have people chasing after us, I thought, but at least mine doesn't think I'm gay. Laughing at the thought of a gay Edward, I got a ball and a bat.

*-*-*-*-*

The bell went for lunchtime. I've been in Edward's classes all day—besides gym of course—and he hasn't liked all the strange looks he's been getting. It's quite funny, actually, because I can tell he wants to _show_ everyone that he's not gay. Maybe he will.

Jacob turned to us as we sat down at the table. "Edward, why didn't you tell us this before?" he asked Edward seriously. "You could have saved Bella all the heart break. I'm very disappointed in you." Edward growled and grabbed my hand.

"You sound like his mother, _dog_," Rosalie muttered, not even noticing as Emmett put a tray of food in front of her. Emmett looked at us cheerily. Rose said, "Everyone's asking Emmett if I'm his girlfriend. It's fun watching him get all worked up. But then some ask _me_ instead. Quite frustrating. "

Just after he said that, a guy with a cap on came over looking lustfully at Rosalie. Emmett dropped his bright smile and turned it into a grimace. "No," he growled, not letting the guy speak. Then he grabbed Rosalie and started making out with her. The guy looked startled, and then he ran away.

The whole table started laughing. "It's so much funnier when it happens in front of your eyes," Alice said, giggling. Emmett and Rosalie ignored them and continued 'snogging'. Everyone else started talking to each other so I was left with Edward.

"Next time we go to a different school, I would appreciate it if you didn't say I'm gay," he whispered in my ear.

"Sorry," I apologised. "But I couldn't miss the perfect opportunity."

He didn't seem very happy about my reason, but shrugged anyway. Then, without a single bit of warning, he picked me up and made me stand up on the seat, and kissed me fiercely. Wait; was the whole school in this lunch room?

"WOO! Go Edward! Who knew he would turn straight for Bella?!" Emmett shouted.

"Because that was supposed to be my job!" probably one of the blonde's yelled—don't know because I was still snogging Edward.

*-*-*-*-*

Edward and I walked out of the school when the bell went to go home. Emmett was standing near the Volvo, with a cheeky grin. What is he up to? As we walked over to him, he yelled—for everyone to hear, "EDWARD! I'M NOT GAY! STOP DAZZLING ME!"

**Please review!**

—**Crazy-For-Jasper—**


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